Tragic Villains

Ironically, some of the most evil, sick, twisted, sociopaths started out as one of the most kind, caring, thoughtful, good-hearted person who are too trusting, altruistic & naive
Until people who they cared about the most betrays them bitterly...
Suddenly their world fell apart, they don't know who to even trust anymore
They start to become paranoid, mistrustful, calloused, building defensive mechanisms to protect themselves

A prime example is Lex Luthor from Smallville, even though he's fictional
Continuously being betrayed is what that brought out the darkness in him

I don't think of myself as a tragic villain, but i can somehow relate to him
Tragic? Not really, my somewhat miserable past can't really be considered tragic...
Villain? Nah... i mean, i hate ppl, have the occasional thought of "go die plz" but i'm not really evil i suppose...

Every time i realize i'm opening up to others, being too friendly, i remind myself of all the hurt & sorrow from past betrayals...
& quickly build  a wall around me to protect myself, emotionally distancing myself
Better being alone than being betrayed over & over again
I slowly progressed to hating & avoiding people altogether...

Perfectionism

Despite being a perfectionist, i sometimes avoid or ignore things that are deemed unacceptable to perfectionists
I'm not sure why... then i learned it's called avoidance coping
Perfection is like "Forever", almost unattainable
I realize perfection in everything is impossible, that's why i think i should start toning down my obsession for perfection

These quotes inspired me a lot
“The maxim "Nothing but perfection" may be spelled "Paralysis” - Winston Churchill
"Don’t waste your time striving for perfection, instead, strive for excellence — doing your best." - Sir Lawrence Olivier
"However, don't let perfectionism become an excuse for never getting started." - Marilu Henner
“The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake - you can't learn anything from being perfect.” - Adam Osborne
 "The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Self-help notes-
Admit my limitations
Strive for excellence not perfection
Stop being afraid of making mistakes & not doing anything
Start taking action even if it's less than perfect
This post is my 1st step!

U might notice i'm constantly editing my posts as they're flawed
Though i think it's ok to keep improving myself as long as i don't "not post cos it's not perfect"

Introduction

This blog is designed to let me express myself, discover my flaws by self-awareness & improve myself
In short I'm an introverted misanthropist
I love doing lots of research in search of the best solutions etc & I try to provide reasons & proofs behind the facts I post as I'm a strong skeptic myself
I'm also sort of a perfectionist & indecisive cos I tend to over-analyze stuff which is why it took a week to even publish my 1st post
And... I'm having analysis paralysis as of now...